Bad Medicine
by mindmelda
Summary: Quatre gets the flu, Wufei pukes, Duo giggles, Heero talks funny and Trowa looses his sweater.


Bad Medicine  
  
Title: Bad Medicine  
  
Author: Gina Lin Melton  
  
Genre: Humor, oneshot  
  
Pairing: None  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Archived: Nowhere, yet.  
  
Warnings: Language and vomit  
  
"I ting I hab a code," said Quatre, laying his head on the smooth, cool kitchen table.  
  
"You have a fever," said Wufei, looking up from his book and reaching over to briefly feel his forehead. "You should be in bed."  
  
"Too hot," mumbled Quatre. "And I need tea."  
  
"Go back to bed," Wufei said, "I will bring you tea."  
  
"Dank you," said Quatre through his nose. "My head hurds."  
  
"I'll bring you something for the headache too," said Wufei.  
  
"Your so nice," said Quatre, sniffling a little. He rose slowly and shuffled off back to bed, his slippers scuffing on the tile floors, his blue pajamas hanging loosely off of his slight frame.  
  
He passed Duo, barely grunting at him.  
  
"What's wrong with the Q-man?" said Duo, sliding into a chair.  
  
"He's sick," said Wufei, getting up. "I'm going to bring him some tea and something for his fever and headache."  
  
"Poor Quat," said Duo. "Maybe I can cheer him up?"  
  
"How? By short-sheeting his bed? Putting salt in his tea?" asked Wufei, putting on the kettle for tea.  
  
"Hey, I wouldn't do that to someone who's sick!" protested Duo. "You must think I'm a real creep."  
  
Wufei turned around. Duo was looking down at the table. He'd dumped some salt on it and was making little designs in the salt. Smiley faces who weren't smiling. Their mouths were turned down.  
  
"Here, you can help me take this to Quatre," said Wufei.  
  
"Sure," said Duo, perking up. He followed Wufei down the hallway of the safehouse they were staying at.  
  
Wufei raised his hand to knock; balancing the tray on one hand, but Duo just walked in before he could complete the action. Wufei frowned at Duo's back.  
  
"Hey, Q, I hear you're sick," said Duo loudly to the figure huddled under the covers.  
  
Quatre rolled over on his side and exposed one slightly bloodshot aquamarine eye.  
  
"I feel terrible," he said in a croaking voice.  
  
"I brought you tea, an analgesic and some toast," said Wufei.  
  
"Dank you," said Quatre, not moving.  
  
"Quatre, you have to sit up to take the medicine."  
  
"Don't wanna," said Quatre, pulling the blanket closer around him.  
  
Duo reached over and tried to pull off the blanket, causing Quatre to hang on to it with a death grip.  
  
Duo pulled harder.  
  
"No," mumbled Quatre, curling up into a ball as the blanket was finally pulled off of him.  
  
"Sit up," said Duo. "And drink," he said.  
  
"You're mean," said Quatre, hugging his knees. "Want my blanket back."  
  
He looked at them pitifully through his overgrown blond bangs. Duo gave him the blanket back, tucking it around his shoulders.  
  
"I thought you were hot," said Wufei.  
  
"I'm cold now," said Quatre miserably.  
  
"Drink the tea," said Wufei. "Eat a little. I can make you some chicken soup."  
  
"Damn, Wu-chan, are you sure you're not Jewish."  
  
Wufei scowled at him.  
  
Quatre put a hand out of the blanket for the teacup.  
  
He slowly sipped some, holding the blanket around him.  
  
"Now the pills," said Wufei holding them out in his hand.  
  
"What's going on?" said Heero's voice behind them.  
  
"Q-boy is sick," said Duo, now sitting on the end of the bed.  
  
"Inconvenient," said Heero, folding his arms and leaning against the doorframe.  
  
"What if he gets a mission?" asked Heero.  
  
"Then one of us will have to go instead," said Wufei.  
  
"I'll go," said Duo, frowning at Heero. "Do you need another blanket Quat?"  
  
"Please," said Quatre, using the tea to swallow the pills Wufei had handed him.  
  
Duo bounced past Heero and went to get another blanket.  
  
Trowa came in, still wearing his jacket. "What's wrong?" he asked.  
  
"Quatre is sick," said Heero, moving away from the doorway.  
  
Trowa went in. "Sick?" he repeated.  
  
"I hab a code," said Quatre, handing Wufei the teacup.  
  
Trowa pulled off his jacket and sat down on the bed. Reaching over, he put his cool hand on Quatre's hot face.  
  
"You have a fever," he said.  
  
"I'm code," said Quatre.  
  
"That's because your fever is going up," said Trowa.  
  
"I gave him something for that," said Wufei.  
  
Duo came in with a blanket. Seeing Trowa on the bed, he handed him the blanket. Trowa spread it over Quatre and tucked the edges under.  
  
"Better," croaked Quatre.  
  
"We should leave and let him sleep," said Heero. "And he's contagious."  
  
"A little late to worry about that," said Wufei.  
  
"Geez, Heero, have a little sympathy," exclaimed Duo.  
  
"If we all get sick, who will take care of our upcoming missions?" asked Heero, looking at him levelly.  
  
"Ah, who gives a shit!" said Duo, folding his arms and attempting to out- glare Heero. After 5 seconds, he gave up. Heero turned around and left the room.  
  
"I'll stay with him," said Trowa quietly. "We're in the same room anyway," he said, indicating the other bed.  
  
"Very well," said Wufei. "But you just came back from a mission. You should rest yourself or you'll be sick too."  
  
"Don't worry," said Trowa. "I'm fine."  
  
A gentle snore came from Quatre's bed.  
  
"He's sleepin," said Duo, stating the obvious. "Poor Quat."  
  
Trowa reached over. "He feels a little cooler, too." He sighed and stretched out on his bed, still clothed. "Good to be back."  
  
Wufei turned to go. "I'll check on him in four hours."  
  
Duo got up and went to the room he shared with Wufei and Heero. Heero was typing away on his laptop, no surprise there.  
  
"Heero, I was thinkin bout what you said. Maybe there's sumthin we could take that would keep us from getting sick too."  
  
"I'll look into it," said Heero.  
  
He pulled up a search engine on his laptop and typed in "influenza, preventatives" and hit enter.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Duo crept into Trowa and Quatre's room noiselessly. Until he stubbed his toe on the nightstand.  
  
He stuffed his hand in his mouth to smother the curse that threatened to come out.  
  
After a few minutes of subdued groaning, he bent down to look at Quat.  
  
The boy seemed cooler, less flushed and restless, but Duo didn't want to risk waking him, so he didn't touch him.  
  
"What are you doing, Duo?" asked Trowa's voice from across the room.  
  
Duo jumped. "Crap! I thought you were asleep!"  
  
"Now I'm awake," said Trowa. "I need to get up and shower anyway," he said. He was still in his clothes, lying on top of the blankets.  
  
"Is he better?" asked Duo. "I just came in to check."  
  
Duo sat down gently on the edge of the bed and put a hand on Quatre's forehead. Quatre mumbled and tried to swat the hand away.  
  
"He's kinda sweaty," said Duo, removing his hand, unconsciously wiping it on his pants.  
  
"His fever must have broken," said Trowa.  
  
"That's good, right?" asked Duo.  
  
Trowa nodded. "It might come back up tonight, but it's a good sign."  
  
"I'll stay with him while you get cleaned up," said Duo.  
  
"Not really necessary," said Trowa.  
  
"I wanna," said Duo. "You shouldn't be alone when yer sick."  
  
Trowa looked at Duo. Duo had an anxious look on his face, hovering over his sick friend. He kept patting Quatre's shoulder through the blankets, fussing and tucking them around him. Quatre shifted restlessly, then relaxed.  
  
"He won't die," said Trowa softly.  
  
"I know it here," said Duo, pointing to his temple. "But, the rest o' me don't wanna believe it."  
  
Trowa just nodded again. "I'm going to shower and get something to eat." He collected a few items and left.  
  
"You won't die," repeated Duo softly to himself, folding his legs under him and sitting on the foot of Quatre's bed.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The next morning, Heero placed two quart-sized bottles of red brownish fluid on the kitchen table.  
  
"What's that shit?" asked Duo, making a face.  
  
"Something that will keep the rest of us from getting the flu," said Heero.  
  
"Really?" asked Duo. "It looks like sumthin that will MAKE you sick."  
  
"It's an herbal remedy that inhibits the action of viruses," said Heero.  
  
"So we gotta take a slug o' this crap and we won't get what he has?"  
  
"Supposedly," replied Heero.  
  
Wufei looked doubtfully at the bottle. "I'm not adverse to herbal remedies, but what exactly is this noxious looking liquid composed of?"  
  
"Tincture of elderberries, rosehips, echinacea, Siberian ginseng, and some other stuff I never heard of," said Duo, reading the label on the bottle.  
  
"Okay, I'm game," he said. He opened the bottle, poured a good amount in a coffee cup, and drank the whole thing down in one gulp.  
  
He coughed and spluttered. "Damn!" he gasped, "It burns." He sat down the bottle. "But, it doesn't taste too bad, actually." He looked surprised.  
  
Wufei sniffed the contents, "Smells interesting."  
  
He took his empty teacup and half filled it. "Well, since Maxwell didn't die, I'll try some."  
  
He sipped the liquid, shrugged and downed the rest of it. "It reminds me of something I've had before," he said.  
  
Trowa got a glass from the cupboard and poured himself some. He drank it down, not commenting.  
  
"Your turn," said Duo, grabbing Heero's empty coffee cup and filling it. He handed it to Heero.  
  
"Drink up," he said. "We did. Yer not chicken, are ya?"  
  
Heero locked eyes with Duo as he drank the liquid with no reaction.  
  
"Hey, I think this stuff really works," said Duo, after a minute. "I'm feelin' pretty damn good."  
  
"Me too," said Wufei. "Must be the herbs."  
  
"How bout you, Tro?" asked Duo.  
  
"I'm good," said Trowa.  
  
"Heero?" asked Wufei.  
  
"Fine," said Heero.  
  
"Maybe we should give Quat some," suggested Duo. "Might help him get better faster."  
  
"Couldn't hurt," said Wufei.  
  
Duo grabbed the now half-empty bottle, Wufei got a clean glass and they went to Quatre's room.  
  
"Some medicine for you, Q-boy," said Duo cheerfully. "Up and at em."  
  
Quatre opened his eyes and groaned. "Shut up, Duo." He rolled over and turned his back to the to other teens.  
  
"We all took some," said Duo. "It's good, really."  
  
"It might help you," said Wufei. "Please take some."  
  
"All right," Quatre mumbled, "I'll drink it."  
  
Wufei handed Duo the glass and Duo poured out a generous amount.  
  
Quatre drank it down, and then sat down the glass. "Happy now?" he asked irritably and curled back up and immediately went to sleep.  
  
Duo covered Quatre up again and gave Wufei a thumbs up. They quietly left the room.  
  
"When are we supposed to have another dose?" asked Wufei.  
  
"It doesn't say," said Duo, looking at the label.  
  
"Nothing in there can really hurt you, as far as I know," said Wufei.  
  
"I guess we just drink as much as we want, then," said Duo.  
  
He opened the bottle and took another long swig. "Just to be safe."  
  
Wufei grabbed for the bottle. "Ben dan, I don't want to drink out of the same bottle you just spit in!" he growled.  
  
"Hey, I don't have any cooties," said Duo, offended. "Besides, this stuff is supposed to kill germs."  
  
Wufei held the bottle. "Use a glass next time," he said. "Barbarian."  
  
They went back into the kitchen.  
  
Trowa and Heero had opened the other bottle. "We decided to have a little more," explained Trowa. "After all, I'm in the same room with Quatre."  
  
"I had some more, too," said Duo. "I was helpin take care of him. So were you, Wufei, you should have some more."  
  
"I suppose," said Wufei, pouring more in his teacup. "Just in case."  
  
"You know," said Duo. "I'm beginnin' to like this stuff." He grabbed his cup off the table and poured it half full.  
  
He drank it down. "It kinda makes you feel warm all over." He hiccuped loudly and began to giggle.  
  
Wufei sat down his teacup. "I know what you mean," he said. "I'm feeling a little warm too." He wiped his sweating brow with the back of his hand.  
  
Trowa ran his finger around the neck of his sweater. "I'm a little hot, too," he admitted.  
  
Heero looked at them. "Give me that bottle," he said.  
  
He read the ingredients again. "I'm going to do some research." He wrote down a few notes on a piece of paper and left.  
  
Trowa looked through half-closed lids at Duo, still giggling a little. Wufei was flushed and half-slumped over in his seat.  
  
"Let's have s'more medicine," Duo said.  
  
"Don wanna get sick," Wufei agreed.  
  
"More," said Trowa, holding out his glass.  
  
By the time Heero came back, the bottles were empty.  
  
"He-chan!" Duo greeted him, giggling insanely and trying to help Trowa pull off his sweater. It was stuck because Trowa wouldn't raise his chin.  
  
"Can't breathe," Trowa said slurring through the sweater.  
  
Wufei was lying under the table, with a glazed-over, unfocused look in his eyes.  
  
"Wufei," said Heero, "Get up."  
  
"Dizzy," said Wufei, and closed his eyes.  
  
"Duo, stop choking Trowa with his sweater," said Heero, going over and pulling Duo's hands off of the sweater.  
  
"He's hot," pouted Duo, suddenly shifting from giddy to petulant. He slid bonelessly down to the floor.  
  
"I'm hot," said Trowa through the sweater.  
  
Heero grabbed a kitchen knife and sliced up through the sweater's neck and down the back.  
  
Trowa looked at him, and suddenly grinned. "Thanks," he said, and lay down face first on the table, the sweater falling off from his body and onto the floor.  
  
"You're all drunk off your asses!" said Heero. "That 'medicine' is 80% alchohol!"  
  
"I knew it tasted familiar," said Wufei from under the table. "Elderberry wine." He rolled over and heaved a Technicolor wave of vomit on Heero's yellow high tops.  
  
Duo laughed wildly from the floor. "I always hated those boots."  
  
"You're all going to bed now!" grated Heero, stoically taking off his boots and walking over to the back door and throwing them outside.  
  
He shook Trowa, who staggered to his room and passed out face-first onto his bed next to Quatre, who never stirred.  
  
Heero grabbed a now passed-out Wufei and slung him over one shoulder and with the other hand pulled a protesting Duo to his unsteady feet and threw them into their room.  
  
"Sleep it off!" he growled, going back out into the kitchen to clean up the mess.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Quatre came down to the kitchen the next morning freshly showered, in his bathrobe and with his usual smile in place.  
  
"So, how'd everyone sleep?" he asked cheerily.  
  
Duo raised one bloodshot eye at him. "If you don't be quiet, I'm going to kill you," he whispered loudly. He sunk his head back into his hands and groaned. He had a cup of coffee in front of him and a bottle of aspirin.  
  
Trowa staggered into the kitchen behind Quatre. "Some asshole stole the aspirin," he muttered. His hair was sticking straight up and Quatre could see both of his bloodshot green eyes.  
  
Quatre looked at him in surprise. Trowa rarely swore.  
  
"Where's Wufei?" he asked Duo.  
  
"Been in the bathroom all morning," said Duo, still cradling his head. Trowa spied the aspirin bottle and made a dive for it like a bum after a baloney sandwich.  
  
"Oh no, did you all come down with the flu too?" asked Quatre, feeling a little guilty.  
  
"NO, we were trying NOT to get it," said Duo irritably.  
  
Quatre was totally confused now. "Where's Heero?" he asked.  
  
"Still in bed," said Duo. "Now shut the fuck up!"  
  
Quatre went to Heero, Wufei and Duo's room. He heard retching then flushing sounds in the adjoining bathroom and then loud groans. He winced.  
  
Heero was lying on the bottom bed of a set of bunks. He was huddled under several blankets and his face was turned to the wall.  
  
"Heero, what's wrong?" asked Quatre.  
  
"I ting I hab a code," said Heero hoarsely.  
  
The End 


End file.
